How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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What did Hitler say to the black jew? Get to the back of the oven

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how do you get an A in a class? idk never got on.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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