Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

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I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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