A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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What is white and can fly? A fridge that can't fly.

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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