A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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Bible Fact0idz: "Something Drink my blood and consume my flesh and live forever something" Jesus- dead age 30something alcoholism liver problems and diabeetus at time of death, crucified and not been seen since, return pending? Classified Alcoholic. Moral: "YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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Oh my God! A talking dog!

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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White NBA players.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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