Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops