Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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