An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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