Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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69

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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