I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

thumb_up thumb_down +24

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

thumb_up thumb_down +22

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +18

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops