Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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I'm so punny.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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