Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

a black is sexuel but a white nothin without a car.i mean im nothin i dont have a car i mean realy where do you get a car?its awesome but stupid.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

12/23/2012

If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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