What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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