Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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