What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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