a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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