What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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Whats the difference between dinosaurs and skittles? Dinosaurs were killed out hundreds of thousands of years ago when skittles on the other hand are sugery candy that people eat when they are craving a sweet treat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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