Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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A whole 'nother.

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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