Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

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What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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