Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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Every 60 seconds In Africa......... A minute passes.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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