Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

thumb_up thumb_down -12

In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -12

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

i saw amango it splootered

thumb_up thumb_down -12

TOP KEK

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops