What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call an black man on the moon. An astronaut you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a black person was walking into his home. good thing balls like apple juice and Miley Cyrus was keeping guard with her sword.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops