A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

69.

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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