What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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womens rights

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

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Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

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What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops