A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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Roses are chickens violets are pizza this poem makes no sense, Refridgerator

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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