What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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Refridgerator.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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