How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Atheism

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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dallen loves penis

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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