What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

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There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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How do you make a pool table laugh? You cant it is'nt a living thing which means emotions.

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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I would very much love to meet you again Erron, call me sometime I do not care how you get my number.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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