Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

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why dont they make black forks

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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