Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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Cheese

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops