What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

why did the chicken cross the road? it didnt it got hit by a bus.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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