What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did one computer say to the other .........

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy play Xbox? Because its a quality source of entertainment

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops