Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A gay man watches football.

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Peas

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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