Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A blond, a brunette, and an Asian take a test. They all get exceptional grades and pass college.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

gingers

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

None of the sex jokes are not funny or not funny. They're just inappropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops