Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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