What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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