What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you drown a fish? You don't...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

thumb_up thumb_down -6

who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops