roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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Why did the blind man itch his knee? He has cancer

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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0 1 this is a sad sad world.

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In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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Rawan what are you looking at, stop reading this

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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