If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

Knock Knock Come in

What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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