What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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David Cameron

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

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One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

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I saw how annoying the poem in the post below me was, so I decided to create an extreme version of it, to hopefully cause psychological distress to all of you readers. It goes something like this: Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight Out to left, apply within When I go out Mrs Johns comes in Out to left, apply within When I go out, Mrs Fan comes in One, two, three, four Mary's at the cottage door Eating cherries off the plate five, six, seven eight

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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