What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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