What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Corn Muffins

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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