so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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