Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Women's rights.

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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What are annoying? Ads.

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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Horse.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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