A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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Urban ghettos

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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