Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops