About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Knock knock." "Come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops