Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Adam Fantuzzi loves stroking jacobs small penis

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q why was John bullied A Becuase he told kids that bullying was a bad and serious problem to get them to stop bullying jimmy unfortunately Jimmy killed himself because he was bullied to much and didn't want to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops