Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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