What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

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okay, there was a donkey and a parrot walking at the park. When it was raining the donkey says to parrot hey why is it so hot. Then a person riding bikes come to the parrot and she told her to sit down. Nobody saying hello but she can dance reallly nicely.

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops