Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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Granny porn!

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Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

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What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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a black man did not eat chicken.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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