why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

Ebola

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

the sky is green no it is not

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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