Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: The Cop.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops