Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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