Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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