A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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