Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Beacuse he got kicked out of the bar

whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

Q: you wanna hear a joke? A: yeah sure. Q: well im not gnna.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

You should read the Terms of Service.

ERROR 3045: This joke has gone bankrupt and Is laying in the hospital//:: THE CAUSE: OBAMA CARE

Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...