What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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find the o 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duh its up top

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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A smiling Frog talks with a lion O O U What do u eat for breakfast lion? V V T T Smiling frogs __(___ |____| O O -

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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"Knock knock" Come in!

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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Knock knock Go away

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops